At random moments around town it is not uncommon for someone to yell “SOLO POR HOY!” at me. It makes me smile every time.

Heather and I have started meeting one on one with the four female AIM team members. It amounts to a one or two hour meeting, every other week. But a funny thing has happened, I’ve started wanting more time with them. The conversations are a chance to really get to know these girls. Heather and I have also started meeting one on one as well. The result is that a good portion of my time is now taken up with these meetings. It’s not the type of ministry I thought I would experience here, but I love it.

These aren’t superficial conversations. We talk about the things that really matter. I pray for wisdom as I talk to them. I share my experiences, both good and bad. I hope that I encourage them, and allow them to see themselves as God sees them. Not as they see themselves. I thank God that he allowed me to go through each experience, each hurt, because these experiences are now redeemed. They allow me to share hope. That life does even out, that relationships can be good. That bad experiences, and shameful secrets, can become something that brings us closer to God instead of taking us from him.

I hate speaking in front of people. The thought of it brings me into a near panic. My anxiety level shoots up and I feel like my heart is going to explode. It has always been a great fear for me. Yesterday I had to look this fear in the face once again.

First let me tell you how this came about. One of the things God has lead Bekah and I to do here is start small groups throughout the city. We’ve shared this with our community and we received lots of great feedback and support. There is a group from Pennsylvania that comes to Granada twice a year and holds a conference with the intention of helping unify the churches here. Charles (the base director here) shared with one of the leaders our desire to start small groups and they thought it would be a great idea for me to share about this at the conference.

I was very nervous about the idea and I didn’t want to do it at first. But I felt God telling me that I needed to. The topic was small groups in the church and we decided that I would talk about our experience with small groups at our church in Birmingham and how they effected us. I was really prepared and I went over my material two or three times with Bekah. But the night before I had a near breakdown and I told Bekah some of the things that were going through my head. I was upset and I felt trapped. I felt like I was being pushed into this public speaking roll without any say in the matter. I threw out some pretty strong language and after we talked a bit, the lies that I had been listening to slowly started to come out:

You’ll never be able to do this.

What you have to say is not important.

You’re just not good at stuff like this.

You will fail.

After sharing this with Bekah, we were able to point out that these things in my head were lies and I went to bed feeling a little better about it but definitely not 100%. I woke up the next morning and as I went over my final preparations, I began to speak truth to myself:

I can do this.

What I have to say has value and merit.

Remember to BREATHE.

I went to the conference feeling peaceful about everything and I had this strange new feeling of confidence. My first group was at 10:30am and it went really well. It helped at first that I had a translator because after every phrase I could stop and catch my breath while they translated. There was a lot of interest and questions at the end. The people of Nicaragua are very relational so the concept of small groups really makes sense to them. I left feeling great about it and it was such a relief. The afternoon session was a breeze and again the response was amazing.

God really is in control of this thing isn’t he? When will I figure out that he is trying to shape me into a leader who has something valuable to share with the world? Not quite there, but I feel like I took a big step in the right direction yesterday.

“Man of Sorrows!” what a name
For the Son of God, who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

- Philip Paul Bliss

My male half posted this on Facebook and I thought I would share. It’s an essay from Don Miller in response to comments Pat Robertson made about the earthquake in Haiti. This part really spoke to me.

Their mantra is: If I don’t control people, they won’t love me. Psychologists see control as a response to a perceived threat. Picture an adult with an inner twelve-year old saying “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me. I’m tough. I say tough things. Don’t mess with me again.” In religion, these leaders often project their way of seeing the world onto God. Please forgive me for painting Robertson with a sweeping brush. It’s not always true of controlling people, and there are often good reasons to be harsh and to take action (for instance, when somebody really is trying to control you!) It’s just that this is one of the understandings that has helped me respond to controlling people with more compassion. Theologically, what we all deserve is death, and Christ paid that for us. We live in the New Testament, not the old. Lets spread God’s unconditional love.

I am grateful that this fringe group of Christianity, one who preaches condemnation while people are dying and in need of help, is shrinking so quickly. It’s this group specifically that makes me cringe when a fellow American asks me if I am a Christian. I quickly explain, “But I’m not that kind of Christian.” It reminds me of Paul’s words, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel.” Neither am I, but I am ashamed of this type of Christianity.

You can read the full essay on Don Miller’s blog.

One of the things God has lead me (Frank) to do here is to start a small group that meets once a week at El Puente (the mission base). The small group is made up of men that are in the process of transformation and recovery from drug and alcohol addictions. We have named it Solo Por Hoy (Just For Today). It is set up very similar to a Narcotics Anonymous group. We are currently walking through the 12 steps one by one and looking at what the Bible says about them. Each time we end gathered around in a big circle joined together (thanks dad) and we pray for the help we need to stay clean and sober just for today. The response has been really good so please pray that this ministry continues to be blessed.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. [2 Corinthians 5:17]

Today, we closed out our staff meeting with prayer. We stood around Mario and prayed for God’s direction in his life, for him to be aware of that direction and for our group to be unified. It was a pretty powerful moment. And I couldn’t help but think of previous staff meetings at our jobs in the States. Prayer was never a part of it. I enjoyed my work and the people I worked with, but this is different. I’m encouraged by the people I work with because I can pray with them. Because we all know God is in control, not us. Because we can be unified, because Christ is in us.

Part of our responsibilities here include teaching and discipling the AIM teams that come through. These are typically single Americans in their late teens and early twenties. Until May, we have a team with us of three guys and four girls. The girls have been walking through Spiritual Maturity, and each week we have a list of journaling prompts. I’m going to start posting them each week because I think they might be useful for other people.

This week our study focused on Jacob and his relationship with God. God is described as the “God of Jacob,” which is pretty amazing when you consider the character of Jacob. His legacy without God would have been horrible. He was a cheating weasel of a man. The book pointed out that he was in his 70’s by the time God touched his hip at Peniel. Our prompts focus on the idea of legacies and name changes in the Bible.

• What is your family legacy? How do they interact? What are traditions? Describe the good and bad.
• What do you want your legacy to be? Describe in detail. Everything from what you want people to remember you by, to family traditions you would like to see change or continue with your family.
• Many times in the Bible, God changes names of people he calls to belong to him. Define your name. Ask God to reveal the true meaning of your name. Ask him for a new name, one that symbolizes your relationship with him.

A friend of ours went through a troubling time in her life. Through it, God gave her a new name. She now wears it permanently as a tattoo on her hand. A visual reminder of who God has created her to be.

Last night was spent on our front porch watching fireworks with our roommates. After midnight struck all of the neighbors went around and gave each other hugs and blessings for the year to come. It beautiful and today I am filled with gratitude to have been given the opportunity to experience it.

El Basurero is the city dump of Granada. Mario (one of our local ministry partners) heads up a group that goes once a week with lunch to talk and pray with the people that work at the dump. Around 30 families come everyday to dig through the city’s discarded trash and salvage what they can to recycle and sell. The average adult worker here makes around $2 a day. That’s $2 a day to feed, clothe and provide shelter for their family.

Through our supporters and some extra donations, we were able to provide over 30 bags of toiletries for the families. We went down the day before Christmas Eve with toys and pinatas for the kiddos and bags of food and toiletries for the adults. It was an amazing day and such a blessing to be able to be there.

Here’s a couple of videos from the day:

You can check out some pictures from El Basurero by clicking here.