Do you have one of those people in your life that constantly remind you of the evilness of your heart?

A man we call “Yes Lord” is that for me. We’ve only run into him four or five times. The second time we saw him, he was mean enough to me to make me cry. In public. In front of 50 other people. Frank had to go threaten him.

We ran into Yes Lord again tonight, and the mental tape started playing immediately. I knew what was coming, so I pridefully thought I could handle it.

“Look at him and see Jesus.”

“God loves him, you should to.”

“Ok God, if he’ll just stop talking and show me ONE redeeming quality I will be able to love him.”

Without fail, he keeps talking. Without fail, I fail. I fail at keeping my heart pure. Tonight, during our bible study he happened to say something really profound. Right as I was thinking my most sinful thoughts.

“Christ knows what’s in your heart.”

Ouch. He sure does, and tonight it wasn’t pretty. Tonight it was filled with all that was bad. I was nearsighted and blind, forgetting that I’ve been cleansed from my past sins.

2 Peter 1:3-10

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

*Yes Lord got his nickname because the second someone starts to pray, he starts saying (you guessed it) “Yes Lord” repeatedly and loudly. Tonight, I learned his real name because our small group leaders took the time to engage him in conversation. It’s Darrie.

Praise the Name of the LORD

1 Praise the LORD!Praise the LORD from the heavens;
praise him in the heights!
2 Praise him, all his angels;
praise him, all his hosts!

3 Praise him, sun and moon,
praise him, all you shining stars!
4 Praise him, you highest heavens,
and you waters above the heavens!

5 Let them praise the name of the LORD!
For he commanded and they were created.
6 And he established them forever and ever;
he gave a decree, and it shall not pass away.

7 Praise the LORD from the earth,
you great sea creatures and all deeps,
8 fire and hail, snow and mist,
stormy wind fulfilling his word!

9 Mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars!
10 Beasts and all livestock,
creeping things and flying birds!

11 Kings of the earth and all peoples,
princes and all rulers of the earth!
12 Young men and maidens together,
old men and children!

13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for his name alone is exalted;
his majesty is above earth and heaven.
14 He has raised up a horn for his people,
praise for all his saints,
for the people of Israel who are near to him.
Praise the LORD!

Through this process of moving, God has shown his provision in so many ways. I had a hard few days last week where I felt really discouraged about everything that needed to be done, and it came down to me telling Frank I did not feel provided for. He, with a kind spirit, told me that he was not my source of provision and security, God was. And then proceeded to show me in the next two days the way God was providing for us.

My mom called soon after this, and I was honest with her about where I stood emotionally. What resulted was the most encouraging phone call I have had with her. In 1984, she moved with her five children and the family pet to South Africa. Her husband had been gone for several months, and flew back to help her pack up the family.  She didn’t know what to pack, or what to expect, but she did it. She moved while her extended family told her it was a mistake, and that it wasn’t God’s will. And now she is able to tell me that it is God’s will for us to move, and that she trusts God to provide for us. She encouraged me in ways that no one else can, and for that I am grateful.

I am provided for.

I am going to miss Monday nights so much. For the past 3 years, Bekah and I (and now our wonderful small group) have been taking pizzas down to Birmingham’s southside area with the purpose to share a slice of pizza with someone who is hungry. What do we do at the park? We eat pizza, talk about basketball (even in the off-season), we laugh, cry, pray, sing, throw frisbees and footballs, we talk about injustice and corruption and we talk about struggles with some of the most beautiful people in Birmingham.

Bekah and I have dreaded telling them that we were moving to Nicaragua but we mustered up the courage last week. It went really well and we left very encouraged – but at the same time our hearts hurt.

We have prayed for God to lead a group of people to us that would take over and love the people there more than we do. He has done that by showing and the best part is that it will be our small group of friends from our church!

Frank and I were discussing various oddities in the Bible (one of which was the phrase “pisseth against the wall“), and I brought up the capitalization of personal pronouns when they are referring to God. Some Bible translations use the capital letter, some do not.

I brought it up because in church on Sunday, I saw this phrase flash across the screen.

Here I am everything for You

Shouldn’t it be:

Here i am everything for You

This had, in all honesty, never occurred to me until a friend said she couldn’t use a translation that didn’t capitalize. My point is this, if capitalization is so important in reference to God, why have a capital I? Shouldn’t you be lower as well?

I say all of this because I think capitalizing these words in reference to God started off as something used to quickly identify who the “your” is referring to (like printing Jesus’ words in red). Sometimes it is confusing, but the focus on capitalization has quickly turned into this kind of legalistic “Capitalize or you’re in danger of taking the Lord’s name in vain” kind of deal.

Does anyone else have these most random of thoughts?

I have a hard time understanding the book of Job, mostly because Job rebukes his friends who appear wise to me. In fact, they say (repeatedly) many things I continue to hear in the church today. That Job had sinned and brought this on himself, that he was blaspheming God by maintaining his innocence, and that his refusal to confess his sins before God put him in danger of further judgment.

Taken chapter by chapter, Job doesn’t make sense. Because we want to believe that everything has a reason. Our spouse dies of cancer, and we search for a reason. ‘Why’ is the first question we ask. Did I sin? Did my spouse sin? Did we cause this somehow?

I finally pulled out my study bible and looked up the commentary on the megathemes in Job. This is what I found:

On Suffering:
“Through no fault of his own, Job lost his wealth, children and health. Even his friends were convinced that Job had brought this suffering upon himself. For Job, the greatest trial was not the pain or the loss; it was not being able to understand why God allowed him to suffer.

Suffering can be, but is not always, a penalty for sin. In the same way, prosperity is not always a reward for being good. Those who love God are not exempt from trouble. Although we may not be able to understand fully the pain we experience, it can lead us to rediscover God.”

On Satan’s Attacks:
“Satan attempted to drive a wedge between Job and God by getting Job to believe that God’s governing of the world was not just and good. Satan had to ask God for permission to take Job’s wealth, children and health away. Satan was limited to what God allowed.

We must learn to recognize but not fear Satan’s attacks because Satan cannot exceed the limits that God sets. Don’t let any experience drive a wedge between you and God. Although you can’t control how Satan may attack, you can always choose how you will respond when it happens.”

On God’s Goodness:
“God is all-wise and all-powerful. His will is perfect, yet he doesn’t always act in ways we understand. Job’s suffering didn’t make sense because everyone believed good people were supposed to prosper. When Job was at the point of despair, God spoke to him, showing him his great power and wisdom.

Although God is present everywhere, at times he may seem far away. This may cause us to feel alone and to doubt his care for us. We should serve God for who he is, not what we feel. He is never insensitive to our suffering. Because God is sufficient, we must hold on to him.”

On Pride:
“Job’s friends were certain that they were correct in their judgement of him. God rebuked them for their pride and arrogance. Human wisdom is always partial and temporary, so undue pride in our own conclusions is sin.

We must be careful not to judge others who are suffering. We may be demonstrating the sin of pride. We must be cautious in maintaining the certainty of our own conclusions about how God treats us. When we congratulate ourselves for being right, we become proud.”

page 784, Life Application Study Bible, New Living Translation

There is typically a physical reason for circumstances (improper planning begets financial ruin, smoking begets lung cancer, DNA begets various illnesses). Yet there is also a spiritual reason. When you believe in a God who created the world, you believe in a God who could (and in our pain, we think should) prevent disasters from happening. The physical reasons are easier to understand. The spiritual reasons are something we may (and probably will) never understand while we’re on earth. To assume we have the answers is to be filled with pride (something I’m guilty of on a regular basis).