Leadership isn’t something I’ve sought out in the past. I’m happier being a follower, and am at my best when I have a leader I can trust and job duties that are easily checked off a list. Because I’ve seen ineffective leaders, I avoided leadership roles out of fear.

–>warning, rabbit trail ahead.

Proving, once again, that God has a sense of humor (hello ability to pass gas!) God called us to a place that has shown me how to trust, but removed my lists. Sure, I have lists for groceries and for my basic duties here but most of what we do here is relationship based, and as you probably know relationships don’t come with a list.

and rabbit trail done<–

Through a series of events, God had given me the desire to lead a short term trip. Frank and I discussed it, and he agreed that God had placed this calling on my life. I emailed a friend at Adventures in Missions and asked to be put on the list if an opportunity opened up. He responded that the trips had been booked for the summer, but that he would keep me in mind.

A month later, another staff member emailed me and asked me to lead an Ambassador trip. From what I know, these two staff members had not communicated with each other. God had given my name to the staff member. I signed up for the trip, not knowing all of the details.

Then I received the email with details, including that part of the trip would take place in Ometepe. Frank would not be with me. I thought, “Oh boy! This isn’t what I signed up for.” Which is typical of most major commitments, but because God had confirmed this calling in several ways, I accepted it when it didn’t go the way I though it would.

Things I learned and felt while on the trip…

I could feel prayers covering me. The most obvious being that I found it easier to show myself grace and to make mistakes without allowing discouragement and feelings of failure to seep into my identity. The day after the trip ended, a lot of these doubts started coming back. I’m assuming this is when parents and leaders stopped praying in full force for the trip.

The last week was the hardest. My patience wore thin, and I snapped more at the girls during that trip than the rest of the trip combined. I didn’t handle difficult situations as well as I could have. Mostly because I was so tired and hadn’t had any time to myself.

A month long trip allows you to just start getting into the surface. Serious issues aren’t really uncovered in a month.

Leadership requires getting your hands dirty. You have to serve when you don’t want to serve. Answer questions when you have already answered 50. Be nice when you feel like being mean.

Leadership requires a desire to learn and knowledge that you will not be perfect.

Leadership requires humility and courage to apologize and make things right when you make mistakes. Something I’m still working on.

Leadership requires leading by example. If you gossip or tear other people down, the people who follow you will do the same. If you cheat or cut corners, so will they. If you grumble or complain, they will take this as permission to do the same.

God is real and active. We had a moment when we were praying where one of the girls had a vision of bright light surrounding us. At the same time, another girl opened her eyes while praying and saw streams of light flowing through us. Coincidence, I think not.