I felt connected at worship this morning, to generations of worshipers. To my grandmother, who loves Jesus and has been a great example of grace. To my mom, who trained me. To Mary, Naomi, Esther, Ruth, Rachel, Rebekah and all the other women in the Bible who worshiped the same God.

Our pastor spoke of the amazing mystery of being a tabernacle, the dwelling place of God. It is awe inspiring to realize that I possess the living God in my body. I sat there, ashamed of the ways I reject the God who created me. The ways in which my pride takes over and I am left with less than what God wants of me.

As I raised my hands in worship, I remembered the first services I participated in at Brookhills. Where my heart was healed after years of running from God. I felt connected to the person I used to be, and realized how far I’ve come in the past five years. The words poured out of me at the end of the service, when our pastor gave us time to respond to the message. I can’t even remember the specifics of my prayer, only wanting to belong to God completely and fully. Realizing that this was the last Sunday I would worship with my faith family until October was emotional. Our God is not a God of time, and those months will pass faster than I could ever imagine. But I will still miss this place, these people.

Heather and I have started meeting one on one with the four female AIM team members. It amounts to a one or two hour meeting, every other week. But a funny thing has happened, I’ve started wanting more time with them. The conversations are a chance to really get to know these girls. Heather and I have also started meeting one on one as well. The result is that a good portion of my time is now taken up with these meetings. It’s not the type of ministry I thought I would experience here, but I love it.

These aren’t superficial conversations. We talk about the things that really matter. I pray for wisdom as I talk to them. I share my experiences, both good and bad. I hope that I encourage them, and allow them to see themselves as God sees them. Not as they see themselves. I thank God that he allowed me to go through each experience, each hurt, because these experiences are now redeemed. They allow me to share hope. That life does even out, that relationships can be good. That bad experiences, and shameful secrets, can become something that brings us closer to God instead of taking us from him.

My male half posted this on Facebook and I thought I would share. It’s an essay from Don Miller in response to comments Pat Robertson made about the earthquake in Haiti. This part really spoke to me.

Their mantra is: If I don’t control people, they won’t love me. Psychologists see control as a response to a perceived threat. Picture an adult with an inner twelve-year old saying “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me. I’m tough. I say tough things. Don’t mess with me again.” In religion, these leaders often project their way of seeing the world onto God. Please forgive me for painting Robertson with a sweeping brush. It’s not always true of controlling people, and there are often good reasons to be harsh and to take action (for instance, when somebody really is trying to control you!) It’s just that this is one of the understandings that has helped me respond to controlling people with more compassion. Theologically, what we all deserve is death, and Christ paid that for us. We live in the New Testament, not the old. Lets spread God’s unconditional love.

I am grateful that this fringe group of Christianity, one who preaches condemnation while people are dying and in need of help, is shrinking so quickly. It’s this group specifically that makes me cringe when a fellow American asks me if I am a Christian. I quickly explain, “But I’m not that kind of Christian.” It reminds me of Paul’s words, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel.” Neither am I, but I am ashamed of this type of Christianity.

You can read the full essay on Don Miller’s blog.

Today, we closed out our staff meeting with prayer. We stood around Mario and prayed for God’s direction in his life, for him to be aware of that direction and for our group to be unified. It was a pretty powerful moment. And I couldn’t help but think of previous staff meetings at our jobs in the States. Prayer was never a part of it. I enjoyed my work and the people I worked with, but this is different. I’m encouraged by the people I work with because I can pray with them. Because we all know God is in control, not us. Because we can be unified, because Christ is in us.

Part of our responsibilities here include teaching and discipling the AIM teams that come through. These are typically single Americans in their late teens and early twenties. Until May, we have a team with us of three guys and four girls. The girls have been walking through Spiritual Maturity, and each week we have a list of journaling prompts. I’m going to start posting them each week because I think they might be useful for other people.

This week our study focused on Jacob and his relationship with God. God is described as the “God of Jacob,” which is pretty amazing when you consider the character of Jacob. His legacy without God would have been horrible. He was a cheating weasel of a man. The book pointed out that he was in his 70’s by the time God touched his hip at Peniel. Our prompts focus on the idea of legacies and name changes in the Bible.

• What is your family legacy? How do they interact? What are traditions? Describe the good and bad.
• What do you want your legacy to be? Describe in detail. Everything from what you want people to remember you by, to family traditions you would like to see change or continue with your family.
• Many times in the Bible, God changes names of people he calls to belong to him. Define your name. Ask God to reveal the true meaning of your name. Ask him for a new name, one that symbolizes your relationship with him.

A friend of ours went through a troubling time in her life. Through it, God gave her a new name. She now wears it permanently as a tattoo on her hand. A visual reminder of who God has created her to be.

Here we are, two thirds of the way through December, with the November update still a draft in my inbox. I’m giving myself a mulligan and posting a HUGE update. Grab a cup of Joe (preferably this brand) and settle in for a long read.

TEAM UPDATES

The past two months have been full of teams coming and going, four community dinners and parties at our house (in one week!) and multiple visitors, including a visit from the AIM founder Seth Barnes Sr. He spent a few days encouraging our group and guiding us into a long term vision for our base here in Granada. Frank’s parents and nephew also flew down for a week of fun in the sun. It was quite a change for them, as Birmingham dealt with frigid temperatures. While most of our friends and family bundled up in the States, we spent the week visiting a few ministries here in town and climbing Mombacho. It was a huge blessing for Frank and I as we had a chance to catch up on our family and our church in Birmingham. We were able to hear from them first hand what is happening in our home church and were encouraged by their outside perspective of our life here in Granada. They also were witnesses to our first illegal police encounter, as Frank and I tried to get out of a traffic ticket without understanding the crime (there was none) or why the police thought it would be ok to charge us $75 for said crime. Through our superior negotiation skills (translation: losing our tempers with each other and the police officer) we whittled the charge down to $10.

Ruth, Annie, Jessalyn, Kayla (not pictured)

Earlier this month, we said goodbye to a great team of AIM girls. They arrived three weeks after us and over the course of their time here in Granada, we all became very close. It was hard to say goodbye, knowing we probably won’t see them together as a group, but knowing that their lives have been changed because of their time here. A million and one inside jokes left with them, but thankfully live on in Facebook.

Before the girls left, Frank and I went with Jessalyn to visit the child she sponsors through Compassion International. This was my first experience visiting a sponsored child, and it was AWESOME. We had a chance to talk to the teachers and pastors who teach the children of this community, and when Angie walked in, Jessalyn let out a squeal of happiness. I started crying, thinking of how incredible it was to see Angie and her community. For those of you who sponsor children, I hope you get a chance to see where your finances go. Because of Jessalyn’s sponsorship, Angie has received medical care, two meals a day, schooling, supplies, and her family has benefited from the relationship with the church who sponsors the car. The pastor and his staff were so warm and inviting, happy to show what God has done in that community. The visit was great because of a second reason, the Church at Brookhills (our home church) had just sent a huge gift of money to the CI program in India, so seeing first hand how the organization worked and knowing that our friends and church are sponsoring children was very moving.

Trevor, Amber, Jessica, Tom, Val, Liana, Garret and Seth.

We also said hello to a new group of missionaries who will be here until May. Part of the NOVUS Project, and led by Seth Barnes Jr., they are full of creative ideas for things to do here in Granada. Along with small groups, we are in the process of planning several major projects including an organic garden to be used as a model for gardening in poorer communities, a group that reaches out to sex workers and a creative arts group for women. Each project is focused on creating income and skills for Nicaraguans, while building relationship and making disciples. We are all really excited to see what happens in January, when most of the planning will be done and the projects launch.

Joe and Julie.

Our final goodbye was to Joe and Julie, a newlywed couple who become our traveling buddies. They were in Granada for two months working with the teams and in the charity hospital. They were an unexpected addition to our team. We really enjoyed traveling and clowning around with them.

MINISTRY UPDATES

Frank started a Recovery Group called “Solo Por Hoy,” named after the AA and NA curriculum called “Just For Today.” Each Thursday at 8:00am, a group of roughly 20 men meet and talk about their struggles with sobriety. Frank has been able to put into use everything he learned at The Foundry while going through the recovery process. He comes home from the class each week energized and full of hope for these men. We hope to expand the days we offer the group, as Nicaraguan men offer to lead.  It is so cool to see the changes in Frank, as he becomes the leader he was created to be.

My cushy desk job is officially no more. I have the flip flop tan and dirty fingernails to prove it. Twice a week I come home with hands covered in varnish residue (the tacky varnish quickly collects dirt) and am now adding gardening to the list of activities that keep me out of our office and in the dirt. We’re also planning out a group for women based on building relationships and the creative arts. We’ll be creating art, baking, sewing, budgeting and everything else that goes into running a successful household.

Unfortunately, the women are left in charge of not only their families but generating income as their husbands and boyfriends leave Nicaragua for better jobs, or struggle through addictions. Pray for us as we plan out a few micro-businesses that will help recovering addicts and women who need income. Our group is filled with creative ideas, we just need God’s guidance as we start and plan a better future for the people in Granada.

I’ve also built a relationship with a young woman named Natalia. She operates as a translator for the women’s study and has started taking on a more active role as a leader. I’m excited to see what happens with this relationship!

Please pray for us to continue to develop relationships and make contributions here that would create lasting change. Pray that we would pour our time into those things that will last long after we are gone from Granada.

CULTURE UPDATES

Let’s just say we made it through most of December. We live on one of the busiest streets, and December is the loudest month in Granada. The statues of Mary have meandered down our street, the bands have played at midnight and four a.m., the parades have been held, and fireworks have gone off for eight hours straight. This may sound like it would be interesting, and it is. For the first week. By the second week, we were a little frazzled.

We love all of you!

Frank and Rebekah

We sing this song on Sundays and I’ve rediscovered my love for this simplest of hymns. It’s full of Adoration, something I often struggle with, and puts my focus on God and his amazing strength.

My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like you.
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of your mighty love.

My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship you.

Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing.
Power and majesty, Praise to our King.
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of your name.

I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I’ll love you forever I’ll stand.
Nothing compares to the promises I have in you.

Our church meets the first and third Sunday of every month under a huge tree. There’s about 40 people in total, a healthy mix of Gringos and Nicas, recovering addicts and families, men and women, adults and children. The musical worship is pretty lively, involving a lot of offbeat clapping and shouting by our worship leader, Osiris. Today, we even had a little rap session during the last song.

Today, it felt like I was part of the community instead of just a visitor. This is happening a lot more lately. Life here is turning into our normal. It’s normal to have clothes stiff from the clothesline. It’s normal to drink grama out of a plastic bag. It’s normal to leave leftovers on our porch step for the dogs. It’s normal to walk most places. It’s normal to buy our vegetables and fruit in the market. It’s normal to have roommates.

I’m happy for normal. I’m happy not to feel overwhelmed, and to feel like God has given us direction here. We’re starting to develop classes and curriculum for small groups, and implementing everything we’ve learned at Brookhills. I can feel Christ changing us, and it is good.

Surely he has born our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:4-6

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The day before we moved to Granada, our missions pastor at Brookhills sat down with us to see how we were doing. At the end of this very positive conversation, he dropped a load of negativity on us. He told us that we would probably end up really disliking the people we were called to share the gospel with and that our fellow ministry partners would disappoint us time and time again. That we would, at times question God’s calling on our lives. But to hold on, because those times would pass, and God’s calling would be clear and relationships stronger through each struggle.

I thank God at least once a week for this wisdom.  Tonight, the disappointment with our ministry partners showed it’s ugly head. Through a series of miscommunications, a difficult conversation was had, without any real resolution other than an agreement to disagree.

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