This morning during Solo Por Hoy, three guys shared from their hearts and it brought tears to my eyes (and the eyes of three gringo missionaries from Oregon that randomly showed up with Ezequiel). They told of struggles they have had -some recent, some in their past – but the theme of all three of the stories was the same.

A God who chases after us and never lets go.

A God who I screamed out to and begged for help.

A God who lets us figure out on our own when we’ve had enough of the pig pen and are ready to come home to his arms once again.

A God that runs to us and gives us another chance.

Every one of the guys (including myself) said that this was the path that had to happen for us. We had to come to a point where we made a decision to believe that our lives could change. Belief that there was hope for something more.

The lesson I taught today says, “If we see God as one who is reaching out to help us, we will be more eager to look for him. If our faith has not matured to that point yet, we can ask for help.” God wants too help us. God is reaching out to people not only here but all over the place. I was filled with joy and encouragement today.

It is good to be back…

I used to come here everyday and work and stare out at University Boulevard and dream about what our lives would look like when we moved to Nicaragua. Playing out scenarios in my head of what our everyday lives would look like. I remember thinking about how much I would miss these times and to be honest I do miss them sometimes. But I’m also reminded about a time when in our lives when the God of the universe called us out of our normal American lives and said “Follow me to Nicaragua”.

Being home for a visit has given me the opportunity to reflect on what God is doing in and through us in Granada. It has allowed me to not only see friends and family but also to miss our new friends and family. Granada may not be “home” but we also being shown that home is where you are instead of a particular place.

We feel that we are at sort of a crossroads with our time there and we are going to begin praying for God to show us if he wants us to stay for a longer term or if he wants us to come back to the states for something else. We are praying for God to give us this answer quickly because it changes how we look at our last seven months in Nicaragua. If he calls us for a longer period, we feel we should dive into language training and developing the base we have now into a more advanced level. If he calls us back to the states, we would spend our last seven months developing relationships and ministries so that it continues after we leave. Please join us in praying for direction. We are trusting and believing that he will guide our steps.

If we didn’t get a chance to see you face to face know that we miss you and can’t wait until we can hug your neck!

Our pastor spoke of the amazing mystery of being a tabernacle, the dwelling place of God. It is awe inspiring to realize that I possess the living God in my body. I sat there, ashamed of the ways I reject the God who created me. The ways in which my pride takes over and I am left with less than what God wants of me.

As I raised my hands in worship, I remembered the first services I participated in at Brookhills. Where my heart was healed after years of running from God. I felt connected to the person I used to be, and realized how far I’ve come in the past five years. The words poured out of me at the end of the service, when our pastor gave us time to respond to the message. I can’t even remember the specifics of my prayer, only wanting to belong to God completely and fully. Realizing that this was the last Sunday I would worship with my faith family until October was emotional. Our God is not a God of time, and those months will pass faster than I could ever imagine. But I will still miss this place, these people.

The grounds at Peniel are well manicured – full of plants and animals

Peniel sits on 50+ acres. In their spare time the guys are encouraged to go out and find God in the landscape here.

There is fields and fields of crops to help feed the guys while they are here

The city of Granada is filled with people that are struggling with addictions. From 50 year old alcoholics to 10 year boys addicted to sniffing glue, addiction has ravished the city. Sadly, there are no treatment centers in the entire city so the ministry we work with sponsors men to go to Peniel which is about 45 minutes outside of the city of Granada. With so many people struggling and with poverty, you can imagine that there is a lot of interest in sponsorship. We have a process that allows us to get to know the guys before we send them and we also encourage them to join in the ministries that we are involved in. My hope is that some of them figure out that they can stay clean without going to Peniel.

The buildings are covered with graffiti art. This one says “Jehova Lives”.

This art symbolizes what happens here – the captives are set free!

Bacon anyone? Peniel raises a lot of their own food. This pig weighed over 300 pounds!

Mario talking with the director and owner of Peniel, pastor Frank

Currently we have three guys at Peniel going through the program. Here’s their pictures so you can pray for them:

These aren’t superficial conversations. We talk about the things that really matter. I pray for wisdom as I talk to them. I share my experiences, both good and bad. I hope that I encourage them, and allow them to see themselves as God sees them. Not as they see themselves. I thank God that he allowed me to go through each experience, each hurt, because these experiences are now redeemed. They allow me to share hope. That life does even out, that relationships can be good. That bad experiences, and shameful secrets, can become something that brings us closer to God instead of taking us from him.

First let me tell you how this came about. One of the things God has lead Bekah and I to do here is start small groups throughout the city. We’ve shared this with our community and we received lots of great feedback and support. There is a group from Pennsylvania that comes to Granada twice a year and holds a conference with the intention of helping unify the churches here. Charles (the base director here) shared with one of the leaders our desire to start small groups and they thought it would be a great idea for me to share about this at the conference.

I was very nervous about the idea and I didn’t want to do it at first. But I felt God telling me that I needed to. The topic was small groups in the church and we decided that I would talk about our experience with small groups at our church in Birmingham and how they effected us. I was really prepared and I went over my material two or three times with Bekah. But the night before I had a near breakdown and I told Bekah some of the things that were going through my head. I was upset and I felt trapped. I felt like I was being pushed into this public speaking roll without any say in the matter. I threw out some pretty strong language and after we talked a bit, the lies that I had been listening to slowly started to come out:

You’ll never be able to do this.

What you have to say is not important.

You’re just not good at stuff like this.

You will fail.

After sharing this with Bekah, we were able to point out that these things in my head were lies and I went to bed feeling a little better about it but definitely not 100%. I woke up the next morning and as I went over my final preparations, I began to speak truth to myself:

I can do this.

What I have to say has value and merit.

Remember to BREATHE.

I went to the conference feeling peaceful about everything and I had this strange new feeling of confidence. My first group was at 10:30am and it went really well. It helped at first that I had a translator because after every phrase I could stop and catch my breath while they translated. There was a lot of interest and questions at the end. The people of Nicaragua are very relational so the concept of small groups really makes sense to them. I left feeling great about it and it was such a relief. The afternoon session was a breeze and again the response was amazing.

God really is in control of this thing isn’t he? When will I figure out that he is trying to shape me into a leader who has something valuable to share with the world? Not quite there, but I feel like I took a big step in the right direction yesterday.

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

- Philip Paul Bliss

Their mantra is: If I don’t control people, they won’t love me. Psychologists see control as a response to a perceived threat. Picture an adult with an inner twelve-year old saying “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me. I’m tough. I say tough things. Don’t mess with me again.” In religion, these leaders often project their way of seeing the world onto God. Please forgive me for painting Robertson with a sweeping brush. It’s not always true of controlling people, and there are often good reasons to be harsh and to take action (for instance, when somebody really is trying to control you!) It’s just that this is one of the understandings that has helped me respond to controlling people with more compassion. Theologically, what we all deserve is death, and Christ paid that for us. We live in the New Testament, not the old. Lets spread God’s unconditional love.

I am grateful that this fringe group of Christianity, one who preaches condemnation while people are dying and in need of help, is shrinking so quickly. It’s this group specifically that makes me cringe when a fellow American asks me if I am a Christian. I quickly explain, “But I’m not that kind of Christian.” It reminds me of Paul’s words, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel.” Neither am I, but I am ashamed of this type of Christianity.

You can read the full essay on Don Miller’s blog.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. [2 Corinthians 5:17]